THE WATCHES WORN ON THE NASA ARTEMIS II MISSION
The Omega Speedmaster X-33 Gen 2 goes to the Moon
In space, timing is everything. Miss a burn window by thirty seconds and you are no longer going to the Moon. Which is why the Omega Speedmaster X-33 Gen 2 has been selected as the official timepiece of the Artemis II AstroNOTs.
WHAT MAKES IT MISSION-WORTHY
Solar-powered, titanium-cased, and designed to fit over a spacesuit sleeve. It handles universal time, mission elapsed time, and countdown timers simultaneously. Rated to survive conditions that would destroy most objects. We have ordered several for the office.
THE ASTRONOTS WEARING IT
Reid Wiseman, Victor Glover, Christina Koch, and Jeremy Hansen. Four AstroNOTs. Four watches. One Moon. We reached out for comment. They did not respond. We assume they are busy.
THE FAKE X POSITION ON WATCHES
We are broadly in favour. The Speedmaster helped save Apollo 13 and has more mission hours than most of our engineering team. It sits on our approved equipment list directly below "rocket" and directly above "biscuits (assorted)."
"IN SPACE, TIMING IS EVERYTHING. THE OMEGA SPEEDMASTER X-33 GEN 2 ENSURES THE ARTEMIS II CREW KNOW EXACTLY WHEN THINGS ARE GOING WRONG."
— FAKE X WRIST TECHNOLOGY DIVISION, PROBABLYThe Artemis II mission is scheduled to fly around the Moon and return — the first crewed lunar flyby since Apollo 17 in 1972. No landing this time. Just a very long, very expensive, very well-timed loop. We will be watching. Possibly with an Omega on our wrist. Possibly with a cup of tea. Definitely with biscuits.
WE MADE OUR OWN.
OBVIOUSLY.
Inspired by the Artemis II mission — and frankly a little competitive about it — the Fake X R&D division has been quietly working on its own timepiece. We call it the Fake X Explorer GMT. It tells the time in at least two timezones, which is two more than most of our engineers need on a given Tuesday.
The design draws heavily from established horological tradition, in the sense that it has hands, a bezel, and numbers arranged in a broadly circular fashion. Our lead designer spent considerable time on the dial layout. We are not at liberty to confirm whether a Rolex was involved at any stage of the creative process. Legal has asked us to say nothing further on this matter.
The GMT hand — the red one — tracks a second timezone, which we have provisionally set to Moon Standard Time. Moon Standard Time does not currently exist as an official standard. We consider this an opportunity.
Production timeline: late summer 2099. Pending QA. The QA team has been notified.
* Fake X Explorer GMT is a concept design. Any resemblance to existing luxury timepieces is purely coincidental and the result of a very short design brief. Not available for purchase. Not available at all. It is a drawing.
